5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
