I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
