The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize