He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
