It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
