She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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