I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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