he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know her cup size but not her name....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
