yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Who did Billy Mays play for?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
