I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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