dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
