i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
