I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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