Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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