period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
