I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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