anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
