I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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