I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
