i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
