Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
