I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
