Your tits are I can't wait for
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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