We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
