I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
