Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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