I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
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you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize