I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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