Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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