You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
