Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
