Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
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he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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