Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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