shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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