yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize