real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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