I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
