she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
