i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
