First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I believe in your delicious
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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