So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize