Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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