He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
