I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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