am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
