I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
