So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My sheets look like a crime scene.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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