sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
