Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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