he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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