Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
