I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize