seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
