So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
