if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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