oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize