just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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