it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
