wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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