dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
