office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
