Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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