peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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