We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
